Bloody Caesar (Minimum Octane Rating: 93)

Recently, an interesting product came to my attention: Mott's Clamato Energia. Behold its baffling glory:

Tomato Juice + Clam Juice + Energy...um...juice?

Yes! For all of you wondering "When will my cries for a beverage that combines the veggie goodness of tomato drippings with the fishy clamminess of clam squeezings with the kick of an energy drink be answered?" That time...is NOW!

Cadbury-Schweppes, makers of such delicious products as "Cadbury Cream Eggs" and "Schweppes Ginger Ale" not to mention "A&W Root Beer" and "Dr Pepper" have decided to break away from making things that are "tasty" and "delicious" and try to mix things that are "repulsive" and "vile."

But why would they do such a thing to us? The answer is closer than we think: Canada.

That's right, Canada's favorite drink is the Bloddy Caesar. Which is basically a Bloody Mary with clam juice. "Et tu, Brute, eh?"

That makes sense for the plain, non-energied Clamato, but the Energia? Why? Again, when I worked as a bartender, I made a mean Bloody Mary (Thanks Ric Foytik!), but the people that would generally order them were older. Sure, the college crowd would have one to chase a hangover, but it would be the older crowd that would order three or four.

So is this like the Chrysler Town and Country of alcoholic energy drinks? "Wait a minute, honey. We have kids so we really shouldn't do that Jägie Bomb. Let's have a Bloody Caesar instead!"

Hyperactive, drunk, old people. As if they weren't bad enough drivers to begin with.